Monday, September 3, 2012

Madrid: Tapas-Bar-Crawls and Pick-ups

Thursday night, and I get out of school and head straight for the bus to Madrid.  I have to pick up my French friend, who is currently on an overnight bus from Paris to Madrid, at 7am the following morning, but first I'm catching up with a Scot from Pueblo Inglés.

By the time I get off the bus, metro to the hostel, and make my bed, it's time to power walk to the bear statue at Puerta del Sol and find Kevin: all of the tapas bars in Madrid await us.  At 8.30pm, I already notice a few prostitutes out in the last few streets before I reach the square. 

Kevin and I find each other without too much hassle, despite Sol being as crowded as ever, but we're not too sure where to head next.  So, wandering aimlessly, we decide to opt for a culturally appropriate laid-back approach, and just see what we find.

  1. "It's got that dead vibe going.  I like that", announces Kevin.  So, our first stop is the long, thin, classic Spanish bar, with two elderly waiters in wasitcoats.  The beers are a bit frothy, and our chorizo and potato is slammed down on the bar in front of us, but at 1€30 we are definitely not complaining!
  2. The next passable place is down the road: a retro-ish rock and roll bar.  Inside it's dark, and the walls are covered in records.  We're kept fairly well entertained by the music, which includes some good oldies like 'Locomotion.'  It's a tad pricier than the last joint, though, at 8€ for two 'copas'- mixer drinks with a coke.
  3. A promoter in the street almost drags us into a dark, empty club, even though it's only about 9pm.  Thankfully, there is sangria.  Oh, and one dancey man and a couple who were pashing.  We had to laugh when three girls came in; it's not often that such a small group completely throws the gender balance of a bar.  10€, an ADD Beatles medley and two sangrias later, the bland Spanish rock blaring gets too much for Kevin, and he announces: "We have to leave, now."
  4. Not yet having learned our lesson, we follow another promoter who entices us with promises of a playa (beach).  We're not really sure if we've understood correctly.  A beach, in a bar?  She is, however, very insistent, so we follow her along to the bar. She even manages to hook in two more people, who slip in the door between her and us.
    Our conversation goes something like this:
    K: *steps in* I hate it.
    L: Well, there's still time to leave.
    K&L: *Glance over to promoter, who is heading downstairs, followed by the other two.
    L: If we're going to run, we have to do it now, because she can't see us.
    K: *Looks back again*  Ok, GO!
    K&L: *Leave very fast, without a backwards glance*
  5. We decide that we are quite clearly doing it wrong, so opt for something more in the style of tapas bar #1.  It looks like something from the 60s: tiles, and pictures of platos combinados (mixed plates- more or less meaning a meal with meat and some veg too) cover the walls, and theres one elderly couple down the back.
    After downing a beer and some olives, we decide we like the place, and order'some bocadillos de tortilla (potato omelette sandwiches).  Alas!  It is not to be: the place is closing.
  6. The Plaza Mayor is a must for every tourist and, since there are two of us, that makes a double imperative. One can't go past the calamari sandwiches there, and one can't have a calamari sandwich without a caña to wash it down.
    All of this is done in rather green surroundings, with more well-dressed waiters, who are closing up for the night and putting everything into a dumbwaiter!
  7. In aiming for La Latina, we stumble across a lone bar with patterned, tiled walls, and a dancing waiter.  After a while, Kevin begins to suspect that the waiting staff are a couple, due to some "delicate touches on the shoulder."
    I point out that the Spanish are a touchy-feeling bunch, and he acknowledges that he could be using his Scottish brain.
    "It means nothing here.  In Scotland, that means you're married!"
    Were mightily amused when the dancing waiter asks everyone in the bar if they needed any refills, as he and the waitress are planning to hop outside for a smoke.  Classic.  Only in Spain could life be so relaxed as to allow the entire staff of a business (even if only two people in a small bar) to take their breaks at the same time.
At this point, I've had enough cañas, and Kevin decides he wants to go for a walk.  I accompany him, and turne out to be a useful prostitute-deterrent.  Those girls are really out to drum up business, but (thankfully) not brazen enough to approach a guy who's with a girl.

Then it's back to my hostel, for 4 hours'sleep before meeting Sabrina at 7am the next morning...

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Life In La Caro

It's a bit of a laugh to be doing this post about La Carolina, in Andalucia, from little old Napier in New Zealand!  However, I'm home now, and catching up on the blogs which is was having too much fun to write while I was over there.

So, what are some of the more amusing aspects of living in La Carolina?

  • On a 23 degree day, if you wear summery clothing, people will remark '¡Qué frío!' (How cold!) as you go past them.
  • When you're looking for something to do on a Sunday, going to a bar is almost your only option!
  • It's Carnaval time, and one of the main attractions is the Entierro de la Sardina (Burial of the Sardine...), during which a large paper mâché sardine is taken into various bars around town, as well as Mercadona (the supermarket).
  • Teachers bribe their students to behave, or get good results, with chorizo.
  • Your fair-haired flatmate is referred to as 'rubia' (blonde).
  • You can't leave home without seeing about four people whom you know, or at least meeting someone new who knows the mother of the teacher you work with.
  • People can be heard casually dropping phrases like 'a mi me mola que te cagas' (≈ I dig it so much you'd sh*t yourself) into conversation.
  • You will be chastised for putting your bag on the ground, and told it will make you lose money.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Not A Good Time... For Teachers

It's not a happy camp at the moment in the world of Spanish Education.  With the Government under pressure from the EU to make up its deficit, the Governments of Spain are making many cuts in public education and health.




In fact, in order to reduce the deficit to 1.5%, all Andalusian civil servants are facing a reduction in salary, the removal of several benefits, and a longer working week (35 to 37.5).  What hurts them even more is that, shortly before becoming President of the Junta, José Antonion Griñan promised that civil servants' wages wouldn't be cut.  Plus, they had to find out about the changes through the media, along with the rest of Andalucía.


A protest demonstration in Sevilla.

What everyone is really angry about, however, is that there are some people who have got their funcionario (civil servant) jobs through who they know, and not what they know.  So, those who studied so hard for the difficult oposiciones exams are extremely frustrated that these people were allowed through because of their contacts.  They have a reputation for not working hard, as they know they're untouchable, and often earn more than those who worked their way up.  Therefore, the other funcionarios are furious that their salaries are being reduced while these people swan around the office filling in time.


An enchufado (plugged in) is a person who gets a job through contacts (or enchufes).

However, getting a job as a teacher in Spain is quite different to doing so in New Zealand.

First, you have to study your specialist subject at university.  Most teachers only teach one subject here.

Next, you have to sit extremely difficult exams, which are called oposiciones.  The reason that they're called 'oppositions' is because you really are trying to beat everyone else.  Once you pass the exam and secure a teaching position, you are a civil servant (funcionario) who is guaranteed work as a teacher for life.

Students sitting opposiciones.

Because of this guarantee, many people want to be funcionarios.  As a result, you don't just have to pass the exam, you have to do so with a high enough mark to be among the top few in order to get a job.  You could be sent anywhere in the comunidad autónomo where you sat the exam, but you will at least have a job.  You can't choose your school; you are sent to it by the local government.  However, after having worked for some time, or if you have special skills, you can accumulate puntos (points) which allow you some say in the matter.
Being an interino is difficult.

On the other hand, I have one friend who has passed the exam, but wasn't lucky enough to get a place, so is still working as an interino.  Which brings me to my next point: interinos (temporary workers).  These are people who have expertise in a teaching subject, but haven't sat or passed the opposiciones.  They can be doing long term relieving, for a period of weeks, months, or even filling a position for a whole year if no-one else is available.  They can be told one afternoon that they are being sent to somewhere five hours' drive away, and be required to sign papers in the capital of that province the following day. 
What's more, the recent cuts are particularly harsh on interinos, reducing their working day, and therefore salary, by 15%.

So, understandably, morale is currently rather low in schools (and many offices, I imagine) around Andalucía.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Essential Food & Drink

The Lonely Planet Western Europe guide says:


  • Paella
  • Cured meats (chorizo, salchichón, jamón serrano)
  • Tapas
  • Olive Oil
  • Wine
Tick, tick, tick, tick, and... tick.
Success.


Monday, May 14, 2012

Summery Friday in La Carolina

Everyone seems to be in a good mood, because they know that this weekend is feria!  That means that it's a long weekend, too, because everyone gets Monday off work and school.  The kids who have just finished school are meeting up with their friends and planning how to get the best out of feria.
The market is a bustling hive of activity, as people stock up on fruit, veg, meat, embutidos (cured meat), cheese, and meat before the weekend.  As for the supermarket... I can tell you that a fair few bottles of booze (especially manzanilla are being carried out of there).

Rebujito: where the manzanilla is going.

Outdoor bar at feria.

Another caseta at feria.
In the streets, everyone's scurrying along close to the buildings, trying to escape from the sun which is beating down.  Summer seems to have arrived overnight, and we're suddenly remembering why siestas are so awesome, and why nothing happens in this town between about 2.30pm and 6pm.  It doesn't make sense in winter, but I can certainly see why no-one's keen to be out and about at these times in summer.  

Calle Madrid, La Carolina


There's one man, however, who isn't trying to stay in the shade.  He's fairly old, and extremely tanned.  While everyone else is fleeing from the midday heat and sun, he's pushing his wheelbarrow through the streets, yelling out the prices for the vegetables that he's selling.


I'm not as brave as him, so I hurry home and bless the lower temperature inside my piso.  That's another thing that didn't make any sense in winter, yet suddenly seems genius...

Video Overview of my Time in Spain

Since my time here is nearly up, I've started getting a bit more reflective about the experience.  Here is an overview, made from all the snippets of video that I've taken during my time here.  :)



Thursday, April 26, 2012

ANZAC Day

Hi all...

What with ANZAC Day being recently, I thought I should do something to share this part of my culture with the Spaniards!
An ANZAC poppy: it is traditional to wear them in remembrance of those who have served NZ.
Cue an ANZAC biscuit-making mission.  (In the end, I substituted honey for golden syrup).

Anyway, you can check out my efforts on my school's bilingual blog if you so desire.
There are 3 articles:


  1. My ANZAC biscuit recipe (Simon and Alison Holst's, with modifications!) 
  2. The history of ANZAC biscuits.
  3. The meaning of ANZAC Day.

Lots and lots of ANZAC Biscuits, so I could share NZ culture with La Carolina, Andalucía!

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Joke About Spanish Politicians, As Told By A Spaniard

The mayor of Miami asks for tenders for painting the façade of the Town Hall, and he receives 3: one from an Englishman, one from a German, and one from a Spaniard.

The Englishman's is for 3 million dollars, the German's for 6 million, and the Spaniards for 9 million.  Because there's such a difference between the prices, he interviews each of the candidates separately, so they can justify this quote.

The Englishman says that he uses 2 layers of acrylic paint, designed especially for exteriors, and that costs 1 million.  Another million is spent on scaffolding, brushes, equipment, and security, and the rest is for paying the workers.

The German justifies his price by saying he's the best painter, using 3 layers of polyurethane, the cost of which is 3 million.  Scaffolding, other materials, equipment, and security would come to 2 million, and the rest would be for paying the workers.

The last, and the one who won the contract because the mayor considered his budget the best, turned out to be the Spaniard.  He said "Look, mayor.  3 million are for you, another 3 million for me, and we can give the 3 million that are left to the Englishman so he can paint the façade for us."

PS Any resemblance to the politics in your area is pure coincidence...

Friday, April 20, 2012

How to Spot a Guiri

'Guiri' is the Spaniards' word for "a plainly obvious foreigner that is subject to ridicule", and this is worth a read.


How To Appear Andaluz: When You Talk

* DISCLAIMER: I really do love you, Andaluces.  That is why I took the time to write this: so everyone knows how to talk like you!*


Most important phrase: 


The louder, the better.  ;p

'S' at the end of words?  Who needs that?  Drop it.

'do'/'da' at the end of words?  Think of all the time and effort that you are expending just to say those extra syllables.  Drop 'em.
Let's practise:  ̶d̶e̶ ̶n̶a̶d̶a̶  ... de ná

Learn the Andalusian anthem.  At least, if you can sing that, people will like you.



Watch this 'Curso Dandalú' and MEMORISE EVERY PHRASE.

If all else fails, just learn how to sing a flamenco song, or one talking about Andalucía.

Interesting Times For The Royal Family In Spain

Honestly, the Spanish Royal Family just keeps getting more scandalous.

Photo by GonchoA
The first big black mark during my time here was due to the King's son-in-law, Iñaki Urdangarin (the Duke of Palma).  He was forced to leave the country after being accused of corruption.  It came to light that a network company of which he was co-director, had charged outrageously for their event-promotion services.  And his wife, the Infanta Cristina, was supposedly involved in the running of some of those businesses, too.
Apparently, it was the Duke who used his contacts and influence to get these public-sector contracts with "astronomical budgets."  They then charged amounts which didn't correspond with the services they provided.  It's a little bit hard for me to decipher, especially in Spanish, but it seems they over-charged and then contracted out fake/imaginary services to other businesses in their network, thus making off with the taxpayer money.  You can see why the Spaniards wanted him out...
More info (in Spanish) here.

Photo from capl@washjeff.edu
Then, the King's grandson (Felipe Juan Froilán de Marichalar y Borbón) was doing some shooting practice on the family farm, and shot himself in the foot (literally)... with a gun he was technically too young to be using.  Although, to be fair, he's only a few months off the 14 years that are legally required.
As well as the fact that he required surgery on his right foot, the poor kid was apparently worried about his grandad being angry, and all of this putting extra strain on the already-tense relationship between his own parents.

Photo by Sheree.

And why, asked the Spanish people, wasn't the King visiting young Felipe?  When the answer came to light, it was more bad publicity: he was in Botswana, hunting elephants.  Many people weren't happy about the King's love of hunting, but it wasn't just this which caused dissent.

Photo by Arno & Louise Wildlife
Manuel Ajenjo explains it well in 'El Rey, el elefante y su nieto' (The King, the Elephant, and His Grandson):
"This royal hunting trip took place in a time of great uncertainty in Spain.  The country is going through the worst economic crisis since the transition to democracy, with 5.5 million unemployed.  The photo of the King hunting elephants was the straw which broke the camel's back- which was already under strain after his son-in-law, Iñaki, and his daughter, the Infant Cristina, were implicated in a corruption case."
The King clearly saw that some damage control was required, and his response made history.  He became the first Spanish King to publicly say sorry to his people, apologising for his trip just after being discharged from the clinic where he was treated for his own hunting accident.
"I'm very sorry.  I made a mistake, and it won't happen again."

Reaction of some Spaniards: El Rey as JAWS

Monday, April 9, 2012

How To Appear Spanish: In A Queue

I hope that the Spanish know that I love them, really.  I'm just quite amused, sometimes...

'British' Vs 'Spanish' Queue, although apparently this was from a Galician blogger, who found queues in Asia very disorderly.

  1. Enter the building.
  2. Greet everyone.
  3. Ask '¿Quién es el último?' (Who's the last one?)
  4. Take note of who says 'yo.' (Me.)
  5. Stand wherever the heck you please.
  6. When the next person comes in, and asks '¿Quién es el último?', say 'yo.'
  7. Talk, very loudly, to your long-lost friend, whom you have just noticed in the 'queue.'
  8. Keep an eye on that 'yo' who was before you. 
  9. Once they have been served, approach the desk, and do whatever you came to do.
This is applicable to almost any queue, but especially in the bank, and at the post office.

While searching for the images, I came across this (much more informed) blog entry on the subject.
Upshot of it all: 
"At first blush, to an outsider, it may seem that Spain is hardly a country with strong norms about lining up ("hacer cola"). One rarely encounters here the orderly, single-file lines in Anglosaxon countries, the distinctive "queue culture" for which the British are famously fastidious."
You're likely to be asked:
" "¿Quién es el último [en la cola]?" (Who is the last person [in line]?)
     "¿Hay que coger número/turno?" (Does one need to grab a number/turn?)
These represent the two ways in which Spaniards form their virtual queues, and are why they thus feel no compunction about physically lining up, and indeed are more likely to clump together in social groups in what appears a completely disorganized manner."
"So, yes, Spaniards do know how to queue, they just do so virtually."

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Chilly Easter Weather

So, I just overheard an elderly man talking to a friend in the street, having a convo about how it had suddenly got a lot cooler over Easter.



"Si, hace frío, hace fresquito.  Pero un chaquetón y no pasa ná."

Translation: 'Yeah, it's cold, it's a bit chilly.  But a wee jacket and no worries.'

Perhaps that's why I like Andalusia.  Sometimes, they have that very NZ 'she'll be right' attitude!

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

¡Andalucía, solo hay una!

Had this called out to me when I was dressed as 'Andalucía' for carnaval in Cádiz, and have finally decided to find out what it was about.  (Translation: Andalusia, there's only one.)
Well, I had asked a colleague, who told me it was a tourism slogan.  But I hadn't looked at any ads in which it appeared.




How To Tell Semana Santa Is Coming

Mysterious advertisements offering pointy-hat-making services appear around town.

The bakeries start offering all kinds of special sweet treats.

Posters calling for 'Nazarenos' appear around town.

Also, posters for float-bearers.

People start putting banners like this on their balconies.

A few more Nazareno posters appear... with a little guilt trip.

No parking signs everywhere... leave room for the processions!


In Andalucía...

... even the planters are Cruzcampo!

... one day, we'll be independent.




'cos everyone needs a little bit of 'South.'

You Know You Live In A Quiet Town When...


... the bars can put their seats and tables out in the street without any danger to patrons (or of being prosecuted).

Jamón, again

So, ham as a raffle prize, anyone?


Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Getting to El Escorial: Transport

In case it can help someone else - here is a bit of info on transport to and from the Real Monasterio de San Lorenzo de El Escorial.

Photo by 'hoja de reyes.'

By bus...
We were advised to take the bus, as the bus station for El Escorial is almost right beside the monastery.
The company is Herranz, and you can check out the times here.
The buses leave from, the Moncloa interchange in Madrid, which is easily accessible by metro, and it was only 3€50 (for a one-way ticket).
Just don't do what we did, and get off when you hear 'El Escorial,' ie down in the village below the monastery.  Stay on until you get to the bus station up higher!


By train...
On the way back, we went on the Cercanías train (line C3, which took us right to Sol).  Here's a map of the stops.
We got really frustrated trying to work out how to get the bus back down to the train station, and ended up going for a taxi (which was pretty cheap).  The train actually took about as long as the bus, and was 3€35, so about the same price.

If you're keen to walk between the monastery and the train station, you can check out the route on Google maps by putting in the address of the bus station (Calle Juan de Toledo, 5 San Lorenzo de El Escorial) and that of the train station (C/ Santa Rosa, S/N El Escorial).  But, be warned that Google thinks it'll take about 17 minutes.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Ronda, Andalusia

Since it's going to take me ages to actually get round to blogging this trip, have this in the meantime.

Friday, March 16, 2012

De Puntillas Por Andalucia

A selection of photos of a ballet recital for Andalusia Day...








Yet another sweet ballet production in little La Caro!  And this was cool because it was using Andalusian music, and other not-so-typical, more beaty stuff for ballet.

Anti-love graffiti?


Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Sexism in Job Interviews

I was really shocked the other day when a friend was telling me about when she was looking for a job as a pharmacist (about 10 years ago, but still).

She was about 23 at the time, and had just finished her degree.  When she went to interviews, she was asked on at least 2 separate occasions whether she had a boyfriend. 

Because, if she had a boyfriend, she would want to get married.  And, if she got married, she would want to have kids.  And that would affect her job... so, if she said yes, she wouldn't get it.



Shouldn't this be illegal under a Human Rights Act or something like that?  I'm pretty sure it would be in NZ!

In fact, yes, it's listed on the EEO Trust site (my emphasis):

Human Rights Act

Employment is one of the five areas covered by the Human Rights Act 1993. Thirteen grounds for discrimination are covered by the Act. This means that employers (or those acting on their behalf, eg recruitment consultants) cannot discriminate against jobseekers or employees on any of the following grounds:
  • sex
  • marital status
  • religious belief
  • ethical belief
  • colour
  • race
  • ethnic or national origins
  • disability
  • age
  • political opinion
  • employment status
  • family status
  • sexual orientation.

Friday, March 9, 2012

Sometimes, Spain Makes Me Laugh


I honestly feel like every time I have brekky in a cafe in Madrid, these 'mobility agent' guys are there in full force.  They must keep 'em running!



This isn't funny; it's just a 'good onya.'  The few people in Spain who are awake at about 8.30am are those waiting outside the employment office (well, there probably are a few other people awake, I guess).  Poor Spaniards: the job market really sucks here at the moment.  If I am to believe the finanzas.com site, the number of unemployed people in Spain is currently more than the population of New Zealand.  4 712 098 unemployed people in Feb 2012, with Andalusia being the hardest-hit region. According to a Google graph based on Eurostat data, overall employment is at 23.3%.
And this article's title says it all: Youth Unemployment Is At Over 46%.





This was taken in Marbella (well, Puerto Banús). I can't quite work out what they were thinking with the sign. The 'le' from French, the 'Drugstore' from American English, and then 'supermercado' from Spainsh. Curious.






I think I've blogged these signs somewhere before, but they're just so amusing that I have to do it again. How many places do you see these kinds of signs as you enter a national highway? (I don't even know if they appear outside of Andalusia!)




No horses on the beach. Ok.

Plus, given what I have seen of the Spanish attitude to putting rubbish in the bin, the second one could be hard to enforce, too.

You Know You're In Spain When...

This notice appears on the wall of the high school staffroom.


Wednesday, February 22, 2012

¡Una Chirigota, eso sí que es!

Keen as I am to have a taste of all things Spanish, I decided to go with a friend to the Concurso Provincial de Agrupaciones (I can't translate this.  My best effort is: Carnaval Singing-Group Competition) and check out what these chirigotas and comparsas were all about.

The ticket was about 10€, but the concert lasted about 6 hours, so I figured it was worth it.

By the time we got there, the concert had already been going for a couple of hours.  I saw that one group (all dressed in graduation robes and clown shoes) was singing, and thought that we'd better wait outside so as not to disturb their performance.


I shouldn't have worried; I should have just remembered that we were in Spain.  Every performance is interactive, be it clapping along, yelling ¡guapa!, 'campeooooones, campeooooones' or whatever else comes into your head at the time (including the chant which is the title of this post), dancing... you name it.  Someone walking in halfway through is probably the least of your worries.

Group after group appeared on the stage and, with each one, my suprise grew.  Not only do we have such a large number of talented singers and performers in the little lost province of Jaén, we also have to remember that someone in each of these groups has composed the songs, and written the lyrics.  Then there were the costumes...  The money and time which must have been spent on this is just incredible.  People told me there was a strong tradition of carnaval here, and I didn't quite understand until that moment!








Unfortunately, I couldn't understand the lyrics, as speedy, sung Spanish is a bit too much for me, especially when they're making jokes about current events and people that I don't know anything about- or double entendres that go completely over my head.  So, when the whole theatre was roaring with laughter, I just had to smile and hope I caught the next joke.

One kind of joke that I could get, however, was the musical joke.  When, for example, the last group in the competition (bakers) modified Michael Telo's Ai Si Eu Te Pego (extremely popular Portuguese song over here at the moment) and made it into instructions for making bread dough (finally, after a few hours, I start catching some lyrics), even I could giggle.

The bakers.


Before I knew it, 4 hours had gone by, and it was time to head out into the cold, cold street again.  So, if you ever get the chance to see carnaval groups performing: GO!